Monday, July 24, 2006

Cartoon Villianry

First the OSR (Obligatory Simpson Reference).

In Mr. Black's cabin, a lavish feast is underway for just himself and the three counsellors.

Gentlemen, [toasts] To Evil!
-- Mr. Black, ``Kamp Krusty''

With so many real madmen runing criminal regimes from The Movie Fan to The Penpal, it is nice to escape into mere cartoon villianry. While looking for an article I read on counterfeiting, I came accross a supplement to Marvel Heroes, an RPG, all about playing evil super heroes. The supplement called, Criminals, Crime and Cruelty, includes an section on the benefits of being evil:

The Benefits of Being Evil

That definition is good for the basics of evil, but doesn't really get into the benefits. For being evil is truly a lifestyle unto itself. By embracing the forces of evil you can gain power beyond your wildest dreams. You can become one of the richest people on earth and then use that wealth to bring about the misfortune of others. You can crush your enemies in the most ruthless and vile of ways all the while unhindered by such weaknesses as remorse or guilt. You can be a ray of darkness in an otherwise unbearably sunny day. Those are not the only benefits, however. By becoming a servant of darkness you can also engage in widespread plans of world domination. You can destroy the world with the method of your choosing and then jump up and down on its corpse. You can tie damsels in distress to railroad tracks and then twirl about in your moustache and black cape. Yes, by choosing evil you can truly walk down the street with pride, and watch small children run screaming from your presence.

But wait, there's more! If you act now you can also gain vast influence over the minds of men. You can learn great supernatural powers capable of killing at a glance and causing people's heads to explode. You can summon up terrible armies of the undead to then send against the town of your choosing. You can even become immortal should you wish, and are willing to sacrifice your humanity.

There really is no end to the benefits, so why not join today

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